doing too many 'things'
OCT 18, 2023
Growing up in the early 2000s, I was always under the impression that I had to find a single skill that I could excel at. Something supernatural that would come from within, with the right stimulation and would define me for the rest of my life.
I tried my hand at a bunch of 'things' hoping that one day, one of the many would lead me to discovering my hidden, raw ore of talent —
I danced every other day. Religiously practiced, performed and choreographed to my heart's content.
I read, wrote and edited extensively; poetry, songs, stories, articles. And I journalled daily with the intent of documenting my life for when I would become famous.
I spoke a lot; debates, extempore and I was often reprimanded in class for talking too much.
I attempted Indian classical singing lessons at home but it fizzled out in less than a month, much to my parents' relief. However, their relief was fleeting as I picked up the guitar and over time, started blasting my electric guitar in the living room.
I took a stab at basketball and swimming (slipped and almost drowned in my trial lap). I didn't seem to have a single athletic bone in me.
Drawing was also not my cup of tea; I loved the idea of it but it didn't come easily to me at all. Hence, I spent a lot of time conceptualizing art projects and ideating, choosing colours and styles as well as creating art the only way I could (collages, craft etc.)
I never considered studying to be a talent. It was merely something one had to do, regardless of whether you found it interesting. To me, it was essentially a back-up plan to ensure your employability and survival.
Throughout school, I stuck to my quest of discovering where my true interest and talent lay. I edited school magazines, joined a band, danced every other day, took part in modelling competitions, ran for student elections and briefly considered a career in politics, wrote a bunch of songs for my potential music album, did radio voice-overs and eventually came to the conclusion that maybe I didn't really have any hidden talent at all.
I had tried my hand at as many things as I could have taken up and none of them had led to the realization of any extraordinary talent. I'm not going to lie. I did feel quite let down. However, I decided to keep at it and stick to my approach although my enthusiasm progressively dwindled through the years.
Maybe I didn't really have any hidden talent at all.
Eventually, after years and years (or so it seemed) of doing the 'things' I loved, picking up a few more 'things' on the way and tons of introspection, I stumbled upon marketing as common ground for a number of my skills and interests. Anti-climatic much?
Confirming my gut instincts, once I started working in the field, I thrived. I convinced myself that I had finally found my hidden talent - marketing. I focused all my energy and time on work, created through work, did a few of the 'things' I loved through work and let go of my other 'things' that did not serve my universal purpose anymore (which was marketing, in case you're wondering).
Around the same time, I came across a few old friends who had become quite skilled in areas they had previously struggled with. This led me to briefly question my perspective, but I reassured myself that focusing on a singular strength would definitely lead to more favourable results than chasing after a bunch of things that one doesn't naturally excel at.
After about three years of busting my ass to really find my footing as a marketer, my internalized ideology began to show cracks. It was triggered by external forces related to my job at that point, if not for which, it would have taken me a lot longer to see beyond my rose-tinted glasses. Anyhow, considering how I had innocently planned everything around this one supposed talent and purpose of mine, I started to glitch.
And just like that, a work crisis turned into an identity crisis. I pushed to keep working but ultimately decided to take some time off as work was just not aligning internally (or externally for that matter).
It was a bit of a struggle in the beginning with so much breathing space and time and barely any stimulation. A stark contrast to my daily work life. But sooner than later, as a cumulative result of many questionable emotions and thoughts, I realized how I had built my life so far around an extremely restrictive idea. That I had to be super talented and skilled in a single 'thing' through which I would find meaning and purpose in my life. A career or skill that I had to stick with until I became successful and would ideally shape my identity for life. It seems borderline comical now to think that I felt such an incessant need to categorize myself, growing up.
I'm presently rediscovering the freedom that comes from doing all the different 'things' you love.
Lately, I've come across a growing number of people who are successfully pursuing diverse interests and skills, some of which may be poles apart. This has been super encouraging, to say the least. In the early years of my life, it was completely unheard of to have multiple careers, lives and equally prominent skills.
I'm presently rediscovering the freedom that comes from doing all the different 'things' you love and also, seeing how each of them actually brings out distinct layers of your personality.
As I press ahead, exploring and growing within the marketing field as well as a few others, I'm nearing a point where I personally no longer feel the need to be defined by a single skill or category. Most importantly, I'm hung up on the idea that it might be possible to build a life wherein you can do all the different 'things' that you love. Practically, I realize that this calls for efficient time management, monetizing specific skills, setting sustainable goals to avoid feeling overwhelmed and tons of patience and practice.
I have no conclusive takeaways on how to approach this but as I gravitate towards new 'things' and figure out how to balance all my different 'things', it's inspiring to meet people who are juggling all of it so well :)
Here's hoping to evolve through it all!!!